April 14th, 2025: Floating.
I feel like a ghost lately, barely visible and unable to ground myself. I can't tell if it's my ADHD, depression, anxiety, sleep deprivation, food issues, or general lack of activity. Even my usual love for arranging my pokemon binders have decreased a bit. I've been napping every day because I'm so sleep deprived. I couldn't even sleep in my room for the past 3 nights because I've been so overstimulated. Luckily, I'm off tomorrow so I'm excited to sleep in a bit to catch up on sleep.
I don't know what to do with my website right now. I have remnants of ideas but I'm not satisfied with anything at the moment. And my motivation has been way too low to work on codes, drawings, and everything else that comes with building a personal website. I've also been working on resetting up my Etsy, so I try to do that when I have some motivation. Hopefully it comes back soon once I start being active and eating better. But yeah, that's my update for now. I'm probably gonna look into a temporary dosage increase for my anti-depressants and start looking for a therapist finally.

Mar 21st, 2025: A rekindled love for Pokemon.
Well hello there, it's been a while since I've made an entry on here. Actually, I've barely worked on the website this month. It's not so much that I don't have time, I actually have LOTS of it. But moreso I haven't been motivated? And also some of the plans I have for this site requires a lot of drawing on my part because I'm pretty committed to making this website 95% my own art. So yeah, that's why these interest pages are taking a bit. Plus they're just big ol' spaces for me to absolutely document any little thing I want so it's almost... too much freedom LMAO.

Anyway, my brain's been pretty occupied with Pokemon lately. I've always loved Pokemon, especially the games, but I've been on and off with TCG collecting since I was a teen. I got back into it like a few days after my last journal entry lmao, and I've already spent so much money.... But lowkey it's been nice because my girlfriend is also into it and this is like our first hobby we've found together. We both love organizing our binders and we've been trading cards and stuff, it's just been really fun to have an activity to do with her again. You never realize how easily it is to fall into a mundane routine with your partner when you first move in together until it happens lmao. We've been trying to make an active attempt to do more things together that's not just laying in bed all day.

Also... yeah I haven't made any Spanish progress yet. I was working on pronounciation sounds but fell asleep midway through and haven't picked it up again lmfao. I think I need to find some sort of program that gives me some structure for this to work~.

Okay, I think I'm gonna work on the site a bit today so I'ma end this entry here!

Mar 6th, 2025: Hobbies
Today is my day off and I am finding myself... bored. I've always been someone who enjoys multiple hobbies but I guess I had to let some of that go when I had to focus on school so now it's hard to get back into it. But I'm sitting here right now with a couple things in front of me: my unused sketchbook, my half-customized dolls, some watercolors, and my Spanish workbook. It's a lot LOL but I'm not sure what my brain wants to focus on so I figured I'd do a little bit of each until I get a spark.

I'm thinking of writing some new goals for myself since my previous goals were with school in mind. I have a lot more time on my hands than I thought I did, so I wanna re-evaluate what I wanna accomplish this year. I think I want to sign up for a Spanish class, so I can genuinely learn my own family language properly. I might make a new page on this site just dedicated to my goals, moodboard, etc. Idk, we'll see! Anyway, short entry today. Just felt like writing.

Feb 28th, 2025: Finding an Identity Outside of School
I've been gone a couple days, mostly because I've been sleeping so much. My girlfriend is on a weekend trip so it's just me and kitties, and we legit napped all day after work together lol. But I've recently realized that, besides video games, I don't have a lot of hobbies that I still keep up with. I've been playing a TON of video games (Infinity Nikki has stolen my attention, it's so good that I'm gonna work on a shrine page today) but other than that, I don't know what else to do. Ideally, I should be working out again and getting my diet under control but I really haven't found any motivation yet. I've been on a pixel art kick, but I only find myself wanting to do it when it pertains to my website, lol. And obviously, I love to code this website.

But when I'm not doing those things, what do I do? I usually code at work so once I'm home from my shift, I just play video games and nap. I should probably write some goals that I'd like to achieve on this break, like learning Spanish. I'm Puerto Rican and understand most Spanish, but I cannot for the life of me put together sentences or speak it myself. I'd really like to fix that.

Anyway, this was just a small entry to say I'm not dead and these are some things on my mind. If I think of other old hobbies of mine I'd like to restart, I'll probably talk about it next time. Maybe doll customizing...

Feb 24th, 2025: Prioritizing Health
For the first time in a long while, I have decided to put my own health and needs before my education. I've been holding on by a thread for a whole year now, dealing with a new ADHD diagnosis while going into the more difficult courses in my degree. I've been exhausted, stressed, anxious, and on edge.

It all accumilated into me falling into a deep hole of failing exams, sleep deprivation, and crashing out so I was forced to take a medical withdrawal from university. It was a difficult decision for me, because I do love school but I knew this was unsustainable.
I've been away from school for a week now, and I'm already bored to be honest. I know I have loads of hobbies, but I've been back in school for 4 years now and it does feel weird to not be in it. I've taken this week to just sleep loads, I really need it. I was getting about 4 to 5 hours a night, for the last 5ish years. I was so focused on getting studying done and trying to fit in an hour or two of gaming that I'd sacrifice sleep. I've realized lately that I'm super stingy with my time, and I'm terrified of losing the time to do what I want to do.